Hey mama. Whether you’re pregnant, newly postpartum, deep in the toddler years, or dealing with teenagers, come sit with me for a moment.
Let’s talk about the side of motherhood that rarely gets shared – May God forgive older mothers for keeping these away from us. 😄
Here are some of the truths I found out for myself, along with the sweet and magical moments:
1. The Never-Ending Mental Load
When I was pregnant as a first-time mum, I looked forward to when I would give birth and have a “proper” sleep, eat what I like without first considering if it’s best for my baby, and just be free!
Even though I’d read books about postpartum, I still had it in my head that once the baby is out, we can always “find a way out.”
But, ladies and gentlemoms, it dawned on me that mothers’ brains never clock out.
Read that slowly! 😁
I became more intentional about what I eat so that I stay super healthy and the baby gets high-quality breast milk.
My hobby became tracking meals, symptoms, schedules, and worries while everyone else relaxes.
I literally became the family’s default database!
2. Grieving Your Old Self
Motherhood reshapes everything—your body, your time, your identity.
Some days you look around and think, “I love this child more than life… and some days you’d be like,” I miss who I used to be.”
That quiet grief of loss of identity is normal.
You go from being a career woman, a dreamer, a spontaneous adventurer, or even just “the fun one” in your circle, to suddenly be known as “Mummy junior.”
The part no one talks about is that you will lose pieces of yourself… and then slowly, beautifully, find new ones you never knew existed.
You’ll discover a strength you didn’t know you had when you advocate for your child at the doctor’s office.
You’ll learn patience you never thought possible (and then lose it spectacularly and learn it again).
You’ll realize that asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s wisdom.
And one day, when your baby is no longer a baby, you’ll look back and see that the hardest, most unspoken parts were the ones that grew you the most.
3. The Constant Guilt
I once felt guilty when I found my baby on the floor minutes after placing him in his bouncer.
I cried and felt I should have done better.
As mothers, we always want to be there for our children.
Yeah… It’s a good thing to be a present mom, but the truth is that we can’t “always be there”.
We are not omnipresent.
However, we can always put safety measures in place and train them to be independent.
Guilt shows up for wanting five minutes alone, for snapping when you’re touched out, for working or staying home, for scrolling instead of playing.
It whispers you’re failing no matter what.
4. Feeling Lonely While Never Alone
You’re surrounded by little people every single hour of the day – from the moment tiny feet patter into your room at dawn until the last bedtime story is read.
The house is loud, busy, and full of life. And yet… you’ve never felt more lonely in your life.
This is one of motherhood’s strangest paradoxes.
This happens because loneliness is not caused by others.
It’s most of the time when your mind tells you that nobody cares about you.
You’re constantly needed, constantly touched, constantly “on.”
Someone is always calling your name, climbing on you, or demanding your attention.
But deep down, you’re craving real adult connection.
A conversation that doesn’t revolve around snacks, nap times, or potty training.
Someone who asks, “How are you doing?” and actually waits for the real answer.
Your friends without kids try to understand, but many simply can’t.
They don’t get why you can’t just “get a babysitter and come out for drinks” or why a simple trip to the salon now feels like a logistical military operation.
Some do understand, but they don’t know how to help, so the invitations slowly stop coming.
The truth is, motherhood can be incredibly isolating.
You can feel unseen, unheard, and invisible even while being the center of your children’s universe.
But mama, your feelings are valid.
Longing for connection doesn’t mean you don’t love your children.
It doesn’t make you a bad mother.
It makes you human.
5. Finding New Strength in the Struggle
The hardest parts slowly reveal a stronger, wiser you.
You discover patience, courage, and resilience you never knew you had.
The pieces you lose make room for deeper love and fiercer protection.
Motherhood is both joy and exhaustion, laughter and tears, all tangled together.
The unspoken truth is that feeling the weight doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you real.
You’re not alone in this.
You’re doing the hardest, most beautiful work there is, one messy day at a time.
You’ve got this, mama.💪🏻
And on the days you don’t? That’s okay too. We’re all figuring it out together.
With love from one still-learning mom,
Victoria.
🥰🥰🥰